“Nothing in Particular”

I have so many topics to write about. I can’t give you an exact count of the numerous incidents that inspired me to imagine stories. Usually, I find the prospect of a great story in every incident irrespective of its relevance or irrelevance to my personal life. I would have written a book of stories by now, had I diligently worked on my writing plans. But somehow, I feel, my pen lacks the right amount of strength, zeal and determination for the exact portrayal of my ideas on the paper. My pen fails to keep up with the speed of the flow of my ideas. Ideas come floating to my mind like a beautiful feather drifting with the wind; but not all feathers reach the desired location. Fortunately, few random thoughts get the privilege of expression when I forcefully compel the idling pen to work.

I owe my self-determination to the restlessness that demands you to do or atleast try to do something unconventional. Since the urge to express is one of the foremost urges of mankind, I decided to master the art of expression. After a short stint with lucrative and glamorous media of expression, finally, I decided to embrace the humble (this is purely my opinion) form of expression — writing. I befriended the stubborn friend of mine — the PEN.

I got a moral boosting right from the first day of my decision. No sooner had I taken the decision, I joined the league of “wannabe writers”. Wherever I went, I was tagged as a writer; and nobody will deny that there is immense pride in getting called as a ‘writer’. Whether you write or pose to write that’s a different ball game but getting referred to as a ‘writer’ is an achievement in itself. So, I think, I covered one milestone by becoming a “wannabe writer”.

There is a certain grandeur in ‘wanting to write’ as against ‘actual writing’. When you actually write and get published, the world has your work for analysis and that’s the only parameter for deciding your worth. ‘You’ as a person become negligible in comparison to your own work. On the contrary, if you fall in ‘wanting to write’ category, you get full moral support of friends, well-wishers and strangers. People believe that you have the spark but you don’t have enough time or adequate opportunity to kindle it. Under benefit of doubt, many a times, you are wholeheartedly accepted as a ‘writer’. Your writing exists as a ‘hypothetical identity’ or as a ‘concept in the process of actualization’, but you as a ‘writer’ exist persistently. At times, you also become the center of attraction for love, sympathy as well as hatred.

My pen, being an imperishable entity, is well aware of the limelight in remaining a “wannabe”. As a friend, it wants me to bask in the glory of a “wannabe writer” and so it’s stubborn to capture my thoughts. But I think otherwise.

I have so many topics to write about; and here, I make a start…

(Dated: 29/4/2008)